Reference Point

Of lately , I was told by my Ethics Prof that when you don’t have any reference points in life it becomes a rudderless boat in the un chartered waters ,drifting from place to place without any aim .Though I am not one among those who takes advices because I feel there are far too many to implement but this one since it was told on to my face while I was standing in front of the class and probably because somehow I was looking upon my life and asking some questions like : What is my aim ?, What is that I stand for ?, What is that for which I am ready to die defending ? . And not much to my shear surprise I realized that I had none and maybe this was the reason I liked being a loner so that I don’t have to make any choices ,so that I am at peace with myself but then I don’t want to break like a glass at a later stage .

There begins the search of a reference point in my life ………..

Though I have read some Biographies, life accounts, endeavors .I was never passionate or maybe strong enough to say: Yes, this guy has some sold values I need to imbibe them and be like him .But time has come to make a stand in this world to live a life.

Mahatma Gandhi, I had read his (sorry would use bapu henceforth) “experiments of truth “and was riveted to the couch till I completed it .I was highly inspired by the stands he took never once I found him un-wavered in his belief of truth and to stand by it .I was highly inspired by him he showed that by making a stand “The sky wont fall upon you”(courtesy ethics Prof ) u only win to gain(morally) not to loose.

Life of Buddha, a life marked by celibacy, abstinence from the material world also inspired me a lot and to an extent of going to Bodh gaya and spend some time there.

Father, a great person in whom I saw a never Die attitude, riveted to Family through fulfillment of family (Extended) obligations, Workaholic.

Brother, a diligent hard worker who always excels in what he does.

This list will go on and on and then I realized everyone has something good or bad why not try to take the good out of all but then that would be a very exhaustive list and sometime u might get hazy on what to do and what not to do. So its better to have one main figure whom you will look upon as the beacon of ray of hope .Hmmmm , though I haven’t finalized on who will be my beacon but the quench to find one has begun ,the one that will be my REFERNCE POINT.

Smoke on the Water - Day 1

Not because i understand and feel sorry for myself of being a chronic cigarette smoker but for building the belief in myself that i can do what i want , i have decided to quit smoking .First day has passed with great difficulty .It feels as if my jaws are craving for nicotine and all of my body is fervently waiting for that one smoke of cigarette .God i wish i pull it through this by tomorrow morning . If i do then i guess i have cleared one step .

Shit happens !!!!!

Well it seems , the confusing part of me is what that makes me different from the rest .One thing that has remained constant in my life is lack of clarity i have in my mind for anything i do . Not that i am sad ,but i am not sure,whether its due to the feeling of fulfillment that is causing this in-clarity or whether its the lack of fights i am ready to put in .I have critics who argue for both. Hmmm , life can be divided in to work life , love life , social life .Fortunately or unfortunately all of that in my life is skewed and i am still least bothered as of date .Maybe that's because i don't compare and i don't have any reference on this or else maybe its the mystic aura which i want for myself or believing wrongly .Sometimes i feel enough is enough and one needs to end this life ,its shit boring .Rather than think over and fret over it, why not die and try to live another combination of life.I know i am blessed in this life immensely god has showered me with his blessings of "No Sorrow" till date. New dilemma of mine is hilarious .But i love my life this way someway or the other it helps my synaptic nerves on the prowl it keeps me active , it keeps me pumped in and i am dying to do anything for it ,its a kind of opium shot which i keep giving myself this is what that drives me , this is what i am .Phew !!!! Everything just evaporated .

Lets make it special !!!!!

Hey God, what the hell is going on !!!

My Mom

As I stand by the corniche with my hands on the steel railings I gaze into the vast and deep, wilderness of the Arabian Sea. The cool wind blows over my face, making it numb and stoic. I am bewildered, perplexed to the core. Where did I go wrong? Then slowly some pictures seeming to be of my past float around, it looked to me like a collage neatly showing some of my life’s moments. Then I realize one thing was common, one face was un-dazzled in all of them, My Mom. She stood by me through thick and thin. I tried looking for someone else too but that face wasn’t clear, it seemed hidden but then she was all I wanted. Slowly, Stoic face became one of emotions; I was baptized by my own tears. My karma was clear and I return back to my abode.

Relationship

Of lately, I have been giving a lot of thought into the above mentioned term. Am I ready, whether I have the patience and tenacity for one? Am I ready for the commitment and Sacrifice, to give Respect? Though I haven’t concluded on that thought. I started thinking why many relationships don’t work. Then I stumbled on to this, we try to center our lives on relationship rather than relationship around life.

Following would clear it .Why do we have to change our life, lifestyle for a relation.What happens when we do ?

When we do so we actually realize over the period that our life isn’t the same. The priorities have changed and each part of the life is moved around to fit the Jigsaw Puzzle. Starting from our job, to friends, families, hobbies, interests everything gets changed we try to align it on the fringe borders of relationship. Then one day we realize that our lives have become a mess and try to fix it back by calling of the relationship.

So before we jump into one we need to think why do I need to be in a Relation? Can I give it enough of space? Once you have the answers for this try to tailor your life with this relationship. It forms and blends into your life without moving the other parts of your Jigsaw Puzzle. Having a positive Impact on your thinking process and you slowly start respecting its presence and yes a relation is important to finish the Jigsaw.

Hunting the Hunter??

Turning left and right, pulling the bed sheet over my head , increasing the A/C sleep still evades me. i guess some random thoughts racing down the alleys of my mind barging on and preventing sleep from taking over me .So lets try taking some of these random thoughts.

So let’s delve into what’s sleep. I believe sleep is a mild form of suicide --running away from what you are ,a way to get away from the daily chores of life , a moment for guilty to become innocent, hard worker to become lazy, dormant to become strategizer, a form of meditation.

There is so much farce in this world. People are not what they portray to be, they are preachers and not followers. How does one keep away from them? The answer is you don’t have to. Why? All we should do is take the best of what someone portrays, the best someone preaches.

One profession one needs to take? I would say JOKER. Stunned! Don’t be .I ain't stoned .Why Joker? ,a person at whom everyone pokes fun. It aint just that. Right? A joker teaches us how to laugh amidst difficulties, how to make people happy forgetting your pain and theirs . He makes us feel life is so easy giving us courage to take this life head-on eventhough his antics might be life threatening. So it doesn't hurt to be a joker once in a while. A little goodness for the mankind ;So let us pledge to be jokers once in a while :).

MACT - How i reached there

Welcome to my past and would like to make it more adventurous by asking you to fasten on the seat belts ,:lol dont worry iam little cranked out not .

I did my graduation in CSE from NIT bhopal erstwhile REC in India during 2005, that means i took my admit during 2001.I was part of other 7 people from our state and lakshadweep who took admit to this college popularly known then as MACT then .My father and maternal uncle did a little bit of ground work and came up with the finding that this was a good college .Its worth mentioning that my father had coaxed me into joining the CET - Trivandrum which is also one among the prestigious colleges in Kerala but having my brother passed out from REC - Calicut, i was very particular of having this brand tag and my interest were fueled by stories about RECs grandeur from my maternal uncle and mother who both had accompanied me to my joining in bhopal.Even though my dream was to be part of MNREC- Allahabad[i used to solve sample papers and it had the MNREC tag to it ,so i though it was something great{What a stupid reason na}] but my father out rightly rejected it by saying to reach Allahbad is tougher than Bhopal[You have to get down at itarsi and change direction ,bhopal used to fall in the Delhi route so plenty of daily trains were available from Kerala ,TN]

I was never nervous about going such a long way to study because i had been to many places in india due to the circuitous job of my father who used to work in CCI .My hindi was good which many of my future friends from MACT would agree with, the untainted slang i possessed.

Having once reached MACT [ i prefer saying MACT because somehow that's whats in my mind than MANIT]i realized that the hostel was divided into 15 different groups .[Even though the number of states were more than 25 ,NE was more or less grouped as one]We had to go through a customary parade of being in formals[white shirt and black pants ] with a black tie and it was part of the infamous GR[General Ragging]which was considered as the stepping stone to MACT .

To be Continued ... [Feeling sleepy .......Zzzzzzzzzzz's]

Fav Songs

Nazareth - Love hurts
Pearl Jam- Black
Fools Garden - Lemon Tree
The Wallflowers - One headlight

Happy Birthday

Well ,today i remember someones Bday in nearly 7 years but not in a situation to wish in person .So lets wish it here hoping it to reach them . Happy Birthday and may you find all the happiness in your life . My wish to God :- Bring some sanity to this life .

REM- Everybody Hurts

Entrepreneurship a mis-learned term

I would like to draw some attention to this poorly termed noun called Entrepreneurship.Lot of people think that being an Entrepreneur is all about starting a company.They forget to look at the work that goes behind the making .Lot of people on the mention of this loose term suggest to take some Entrepreneurship course.Esp the professors in the leading [Ok next to the leading] Management Colleges ought to know what it means.An Entrepreneur is supposed to have an Idea of which he is extremely passionate.He knows how to execute it and then works hard to make it work.Unless you promote Entrepreneurship in students ,India as a nation would seek to remain eluded from some of the greatest developments .Probably the way out of the Unemployment quotient of India is not the MNREGA but the unleashing of the potential of Entrepreneurship.Let the brains generate revenue and fuel our economy but for that we need some serious commitment from the government and the leading PE and yes not to mention the class of professors who chide at this term.Iam not requesting them to help but they shouldn't demean them too.

Guilt !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Where is this world leading too. No one has integrity ,honesty ,faith is this what people say the reign of satan .No one wants to play by the above rules.No one wants to carve an identity which is buttressed by truth.No one has consciousness .Every one feels they can do what they feel like as no one knows.Iam forced to think isn't that one being ourself enough to feel guilty.Isn't our concious strong enough to decide right and wrong.None-the-less i know one thing karma .It is strong enough and powerful enough to make us pay for our sin .